slayboybunny:

"sir what you did is literally 100 percent illegal"
"ok but get this: im a rich white person" 
"oh sorry about that sir" 

(via orgasm)

oknope:

i think im emotionally constipated because i haven’t given a shit in months

(via laughhingcow)

xxcactusdudexx:

me at 13: “i’m really mature for my age though”
me at 20: i was a fucking idiot
also me at 20: i’m still a fucking idiot

(via pizza)

(Source: orangeis, via selfloveclub)

shaxaphone:

It’s 1:56 am and I’m trying to sleep shut the fuck up

(Source: perfect, via whatsacanada)

plantkitten:

u have lips ….. i have lips …… interesting 

(Source: andromeda4002019, via boogiefever)

reginamas:

i just told my mom i died at birth and i’ve been a ghost this entire time just growing and manifesting into the daughter she’d lost

and she’s just like

well please go to the light because i am tired of your shit

(Source: adorablebadass, via orgasm)

microsoftpussy:

INSTASLEEPIN

(Source: woodmeat, via ugly)

burgerkid:

when your friend starts telling an embarrassing story about you

image

(via humorking)

sorelatable:

THIS TYPE OF ICE IS THE BEST TYPE OF ICE

image

(via ugly)

free-booty:

I don’t mean to interrupt people I just randomly remember things and get really excited I’m sorry

(Source: free-booty, via hate)

bewbin:

i win 

(Source: bewbin, via whatsacanada)

cokeflow:

My mood depends on how good my hair looks

(Source: fingerblaster113, via orgasm)

ejacutastic:

i have childhood memories that i am not 100% sure actually happened or if i dreamed them i really do not know

(via thejollyjogger)